I forgive me

Self-love and forgiveness

Growing up, life presented me with several opportunities to make a decision, choose a stand, or a path. Some of these decisions and paths I choose with my future in mind and others just to fulfill my immediate gratification. In one way or the other, all my choices have been a learning path for me. I am happy and content that I chose some, and I regret some of them because they became the biggest mistakes of my short-lived life on earth. However, one thing I mostly rejoice about in all this is the ability to forgive myself for the mistakes I made and how I picked myself up to journey on and accomplish all the great things. I know I am not alone as many people have had experiences or still encounter experiences they are not proud of.

My message to you today is to learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes. Learn the lessons and forge ahead into the future with a lot of love.

Self-love and forgiveness are major character traits to develop on a growth journey. In simple terms, self-love is all about appreciating oneself. An appreciation not just in words, but with actions that support physical, mental, and spiritual growth. One’s wellness, satisfaction, and happiness become a priority such that identifying things worth sacrificing for becomes easy. That notwithstanding, it is crucial to know there is a thin line between self-love and selfishness. Kindly note that this write-up is encouraging self-love and not selfishness.

Personally, there are two things I implement in practicing self-love; self-mindfulness and making room for new positive habits.

Being mindful of oneself means that you can identify more with yourself than any other person. Your thoughts, wants, needs and feelings are well known to you and as such, your choices are more tailored towards personal growth and wellbeing. Actions that can lead to self-doom are restricted. However, when regretful actions occur due to a moment’s weakness, you forgive yourself. Life is full of ups and downs and as we go about our day-to-day activities, we are prone to commit some blunders and make regretful decisions. Are we supposed to crawl back into our shells, stop living and nag ourselves into depression to make up for it? I don’t think so. The most important thing is picking yourself up, identifying your blunders, and seeking to be and do better going forward. 

Being mindful of oneself also enhances self-care. Your ability to care for yourself is highly reliant on the value you place on yourself. If you know the value of your time and intellect, you don’t waste it. The same applies when you value yourself. You pay much attention to your mental, spiritual and intellectual well-being among others. You tend to associate yourself with positive people and things. Develop a conscious commitment to developing your spirit being, and studying to show yourself approved. It is a maturity thing. I am growing.

Self-mindfulness also implies that you listen to yourself and take the necessary break from those activities that drain you once in a while. Eat healthy always and indulge your cravings once in a while. Stop judging yourself too harshly. You are still on the journey, so stop nagging yourself about the results when it’s still a work in progress. Give yourself some credit and time. You will be amazed by the ultimate results when the journey comes to an end.

This then brings me to the second key; my personal favorite, developing new habits. As the years go by, I have realized that most things keep changing about me; food, hobbies, perceptions, and even habits, because I started thinking about my well-being more. Some of these changes have brought me soo much satisfaction and peace than I imagined. Sometimes it makes me wonder if I will be enjoying the entire fulfillment if I resisted these changes. The truth is, when you get to that crossroads of making all these habit changes especially if you are someone who always put everyone’s interest before yours, you will feel like you are committing a grave sin. However, I can assure you that you will look back and smile.

Self-love comes differently to different people. What I may see as practicing self-love may be different for you because it’s kind of temperament specific. Hence, I can’t give specific advice on practicing self-love. However, in the general sense, there are several and I will share a few here. 

• Spending quality time on yourself. Doing what you enjoy doing most like eating your favorite food, reading a book, watching movies, meditating, dancing, and singing. For an indoor person, you might want to get involved with activities that keep you indoor while an outdoor person may prefer social activities and those that take them out of their permanent environment.
• Spending on some quality things for yourself. There are people who find it difficult to spend on themselves. It’s easier for them to spend on others without considering the cost, however when it comes to them, it becomes a hassle. Pampering yourself once a while with something expensive can be a good form of self-care and love. 
• Learn to forgive yourself. I cannot stress this point enough but it’s of utmost importance. How long can you stay angry at yourself? If you can forgive people who offend you then you can forgive yourself. Your ability to do things for others is sometimes because you can do them for yourself. Strive to practice love and forgiveness on yourself first so you can be able to extend it to others.  
• Organizing and keeping your environment clean. I know this does not apply to everyone but it’s one of the ways I personally pamper myself. It feels like therapy cleaning and putting my environment in order.
• Identifying a guaranteed support system and making use of it in the down moments. Sometimes in our down moments, picking oneself up looks far-fetched and so surrounding yourself with people that can be of good counsel and things that can lift your mood is necessary. Every person needs a support system; that haven that you can fall on when it feels like life is crushing on you. It may be a person, a place, or even an activity. Personally, I have been blessed with diverse support systems in my life. Some of these support systems were just for a moment and some I believe are forever. And so identifying the lifespan of the support system is also very important because in an ever evolving world, things keep changing. What gives you peace today may not give you peace tomorrow. The one key support system that I know is guaranteed and always comes through for me is God. I have personally experienced it and so I can testify to it. Maybe you have also identified some support systems that are guaranteed for you and so when the going gets tough you can fall on it so you don’t get burned.

In summary, be nice, patient, compassionate and prioritize yourself. Be true to yourself about your condition and listen to your body. Take a break when necessary and stop judging yourself harshly. Treat yourself the same way you will treat someone you are concerned about and care for.

Feel free to leave your thoughts, comments, and feedback regarding this post. Also, feel free to suggest topics that have helped you or can help you in your growth journey.  #Letsgrowtogether #JoG #stepseveryday #maturity #imotivate #motivation #growth #growthjourney #selfdevelopment #selflove #selfforgiveness